Written by: Maya
Failure is that inevitable thing that will happen to everyone, we all will experience failure several times throughout our lives, all in the pursuit of reaching our own goals—of following our dreams—because without failure, there will be no success. Unfortunately, when that happens, you can almost always guarantee that there will be an ‘audience’* laughing at you, most likely behind your back. Of course, they are not going to miss any chance for them to feel superior, to feel that they never make mistakes, and to feel that they are better than you. I am sure they know that failure is a part of success, it just seems they enjoy to revel in other people’s misery, like they say—misery loves company.
How great, if, instead of the rude laughter, that every time we fail we get:
- Support to help get you through the bad times, to reassure you and to remind you why you started.
- Encouragement to not give up and to keep trying—to remind you that failure is a part of success.
- Respect, as it takes courage to follow your goals, to put yourself out there into the ‘unknown’.
But you know what? The people* who laugh at you when you fail are the ones most hurting inside because they do not have the courage to pursue their own goals, whether it is because they cannot push past their fears, or they feel it is not right to do so by ‘society’* standards. Each one of us has dreams, we all have goals we want to accomplish in life, and anyone that tells you otherwise is lying.
Personally, my biggest fear is regret. The thought of looking back and knowing I could have at least tried to reach my goals, but let the fear stop me, especially the fear of others laughing at me…well, that thought just scares me, it makes me feel horrified, and that actually is an understatement. I get this aching pain, and it has not even happened for real. My biggest fear before, was of other people laughing at me, especially when they see me trying to accomplish a certain goal and it ends up failing. The thing I realised is, you cannot give everyone else the power. By fearing what they will think and of their laughter, you are giving them full control over you, without them even knowing. You are stripping away your own power. You are letting their potential laughter and comments stop you from pursuing your goals, therefore leading you to a life of regret. It is only when I thought about the feeling of pure regret and looking back over my life—the aching pain, that I finally realised how absolutely insignificant the fear of others laughing at me is compared to the fear of regret.
Remember, regret is something you can never take back:
- no amount of money
- no amount of powerful favours
- no high status
- no family name
NONE OF THAT can take back regret.
Via instagram: @theacademynewyork
I do not care how many people see me fail. I do not care if they will keep laughing at me. I do not care if they make horrible comments about me. I do not care if they will think I am stupid. I do not care if they will think that I am crazy. I will still continue to pursue my goals, and I will do so with my head held high because it has taken a lot of courage and inner strength to do so—something other people do not see from the outside. It has taken a very long time for me to get like this, so I will most certainly not be brought down by pitiful gossip, especially by people who know deep inside, that they wish they had that courage and strength to pursue their own goals. Or, by people who have not worked a day in their lives.
I will keep my head up. I will believe, talk and execute with the utmost conviction, even if I have the whole room laughing at me, because I know deep inside, that fear of regret will always triumph the fear of others laughing at me—EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Regardless of what you do, people* will always find something to laugh about, find something to criticise. I noticed that when you discuss the many failures of well-known successful people, they get amazed by them (no rude laughter)—how they kept trying until they reached their dreams—how despite their many failures, they still reached success. So why are they not so amazed when it is the people they actually know, or know of, that are trying and failing, all in the pursuit of fulfilling their dreams, in the hope that one day, they will reach their ideal level of success? I guess it is because they find it hard to comprehend that someone they actually know or know of—someone who may be from the same family, or group of friends, or someone from the same town—that they too, can achieve a high level of success. So their instant response to witnessing any failure from them, is to laugh and criticise (not constructive criticism), because of that lack of comprehension. Yet, all the well-known people who have achieved success, at the time prior to their success, they all belonged to a family, they all had groups of friends, and lived in the same town as other people.
“Most great people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure.” Napoleon Hill
Your life has value. Do not let that value decrease based on the fear of what others think. You owe it to yourself to build a life you are proud of, and to actually live and not just exist. You owe it to yourself to at least try, and to keep trying.
At the end of the day, the only real failure is when you officially give up. The moment when you decide to stop trying, when you stop believing in yourself… that right there, is true failure.
So, for the people who have not tried, and are laughing at you because you ‘failed’, NO, they are the ones that have actually failed. If you truly want to succeed, you have got to
fake fail it until you make it.
Thank you for reading, and keep on failing 😉
*These words are used in a generalised way, there will always be exceptions.
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